Monday, May 24, 2010

Let there be WHEAT!!

Well, today was the long-awaited allergist appointment!

We didn't tell Bethany where we were going - she is so freaked out about needle pokes now, and she has been adamant that there were no more doctor appointments on the calendar. So we went to her preschool to do school photos, and then tried to sneak our way downtown to the allergist's office. She did start to ask in the car and we were honest with her, and she just cried and insisted that she was all done with doctor's visits because she went THREE times already and there were only TWO on her calendar! We were able to tell her we were mostly just going to ask questions about what she could eat, and we would ask when we got there if she was going to get pokes...that definitely calmed her down. I'm amazed at how much more she is able to grasp things now - she used to seem so confused by a simple conversation like that.

I saw a 6-month old baby in the waiting room. Poor parents, I should have said hello but was too chicken.

Bethany did great, she was a champ through the whole thing. She was a bit emotional when the nurse brought in the materials for the testing, and Bethany was frantic trying to get her attention: "Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me...um...doctor?? Doctor? I have to ask you something!" She just wanted to make sure she was going to get a band-aid afterward! Bless her heart! This is amazing to me...a couple of months ago and she would have just been whining and wailing (and yes, she got THREE band-aids!).

The good news: we get to reintroduce the foods that she tested super-low for, starting with wheat! WOOHOO! My mind just started reeling with all of the foods I could give her again: chicken nuggets, fish sticks, GOOD bread, noodles, cereals, etc. etc. You probably have no clue how much wheat is in your diet until you try to cut it out.

The bad news: she tested positive - strongly - for all of the seeds we tested. So all seeds and members of the seed family (mustard) are out. But...after hearing I can get wheat back, I can handle seeds!

So the idea is to slowly give her wheat in her diet and wait a couple of weeks to see if we see any behavior changes or reverting back to who she was a couple of months ago. Which can be tricky because if she's having a bad day we'll now wonder, "Is she having a bad day or is it because we fed her wheat?" The mental process of all of this can be exhausting in and of itself. If we see no response, we can try another food she tested low for, probably peanuts next. The allergist wants us to start with the "big" allergen foods first to get them back in her diet if we can.

And my allergist is great. She is like a dream doctor. She sits in there and answers all your questions, chats about things, she is GREAT with kiddos, etc. etc. I love it when I can find a great doctor! She even joked as we left, "Thanks for staying the whole day with me!" It was only an hour and a half, but in the medical world that is a HUGE amount of time for one patient!

Bethany had fishsticks for lunch. :-)

Other Changes

I'm having to adjust my parenting lately. I have mentioned before that Bethany has had HUGE behavior changes...but that's not it! She is doing some things that most kids do around the ages of 2-3 and she never did. She never ran off from us in a public place. She never cared about picking her own clothes out. She does now!

She gave me quite a scare the other day in Target - she ran off and then got lost for a long enough time that we both were quite freaked out and I was 2 seconds away from trying to find a staff person to sound the alarm. Then that same evening we attempted our first restaurant visit (taking her own food with us) and while my husband was walking the girls around with all of their pent-up energy, she ran out of the restaurant! It feels kind of odd having to teach a 4 year old about not running away from her parents! It was never in her nature to do this before, so have never been conscientious about keeping tabs on her before now.

She also has developed a big opinion about what clothes she wants to wear. I know most people deal with this battle daily, and at a much younger age, but I was blissfully dressing my child in whatever I wanted. And...I was the one dressing her! It used to be a daily battle just to get her to put on her clothes by herself. Now she wants to pick them out and put them on without a lick of help. And lately all she wants to wear are dresses. She owned all of ONE dress when this started! And, of course, it is still 40 degrees in the morning when she wants to put on her sundress.

I know some might think this could just be normal developmental changes, but I have a hard time believing all of these behaviors started during the same month...who knows?

The Great Bake-off

Ok, so my breadmaker finally arrived!! I became a bread-making fool. I felt very much like a chemist with flour...mix a little of this, a little of that. I got used to flour everywhere! I thought I was incredibly smart in buying the mini breadmaker, since it would just be Bethany eating the bread and it doesn't last more than a day or two. However, I soon discovered this required creative math since most recipes are for 2 large loaves. Ah well, all worth it to get your child to eat, right?

Unfortunately, we were met with failure after failure. I gave up after 6 loaves. Most of the time the baby would eat it, but one loaf even the dog didn't want.

One of the recipes my husband and I both loved - but alas Bethany did not. Well..she SAID she liked it but we could never get her to eat another bite. I think part of the problem was it had a lot of air pockets and a slightly sour after-taste, which I believe both happen from yeast. So I am going to mess around with the recipe a bit and lower the yeast and maybe add more baking powder. Anybody out there have any ideas?? The other bonus to this recipe was it was the easiest to make!

Also, my picky eater tried EVERY ONE of my breads! Who knew she had no qualms about trying something new so long as it resembled bread?

In any case, the recipe I loved was Mark Engelberg's Gluten-free, Soy-Free, Dairy-Free, Egg-free Vegan bread. Another blogger wrote about it: http://aprovechar.danandsally.com/?p=228 - if you need to know my adjustments for the mini breadmaker, shoot me an email!

Here is the recipe:

Mark Engelberg’s Gluten-Free, Vegan Bread

Recipe for 2 loaves—it is okay to halve the recipe if you want to make just one

Note: If you are using a mixer that doesn’t have a great engine, you may want to mix it by hand at the end to ensure it’s all mixed. Since there’s no gluten to get tough from overmixing, you can mix until you’re confident.

In a large mixing bowl combine:

1 1/2 cups millet flour
1/2 cup teff flour
1 cup sorghum flour
1 cup cornstarch (or double the potato starch if you can’t eat corn)
1 cup potato starch
1 cup tapioca flour
4 tsp xanthan gum
1 Tbsp salt
1/2 cup sugar
2 Tbsp active dry yeast (not rapid rise)

Add:

4 tsp olive oil
3 1/4 cup warm water (not hot)

Mix with electric mixer–using paddle attachment, NOT regular beaters or bread hook–for two minutes. The bread dough will be more like cake batter than traditional bread dough.

Two options for the rising:

For the best rising: While mixing the bread, create a proofing box from your microwave. Microwave a small mug or ramekin with water until the water boils. Leave the water in the microwave. Pour the bread dough into two nonstick or well-greased pans. Tuck the loaves into the microwave with the water—the container of water should not be touching the pans. (I have to remove the turntable in my microwave to do this.) Allow to rise until batter extends a bit over the top of the pans–generally 30-50 minutes.

Standard method: Pour into two nonstick or well-greased loaf pans, place on a warm surface (such as on top of the pre-heated oven), and cover with a towel. Allow to rise until batter extends a bit over the top of the pan–generally 50-70 minutes. (Batter should take up about half the loaf pan before rising.)

Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Remove loaf pans from oven and cover with aluminum foil. Return to oven and bake for an additional 35-45 minutes, depending on your oven. (Insert a toothpick or knife into the center to see if it comes out clean or doughy, if you aren’t sure when you pull out the bread.)

As with most breads, it is easiest to slice if you allow it to fully cool. But who can wait that long? I usually let it cool for a little bit, and then remove the loaves from the pans and place them on a rack to cool more while I slice it up. The bread tastes delicious warm, dipped in olive oil and herbs or spread with honey and ghee. It also works well for sandwiches after it has cooled. If you won’t be eating it within 2 days, after it’s cooled, slice it, wrap it in a couple of layers of plastic wrap, and freeze it. Never refrigerate this or other bread—it will get dry and hard if you do. If you leave the bread on the counter (wrapped), it will be good for all purposes for a couple of days. After that, it will be best used for bread pudding, French toast, croutons, etc.

Enjoy!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Vacation!

It was quite a spur-of-the-moment decision, but my husband packed me off to Southern California for the weekend to visit my brother. It has been fun, although the weather is not cooperating and I caught a cold (maybe the stress of the week catching up?)...but it has been good for all parties involved. Me for getting away from being a Mom for a couple days, my husband for learning to appreciate all that I do, and the kiddos for getting some quality Daddy time.

I was a little nervous leaving Bethany, but I knew my husband could do just fine with her. She is less likely to eat for him than for me (they are both stubborn...such a great combo!), so I made it clear I could care less if she just ate cereal all weekend! It sounds like all is going well.

Bless her heart, too - at one point there were some gluten-free pretzels out that she had been eating when we were initially suspecting allergies. My husband didn't realize she couldn't eat them now - they have soy in them. So he was trying to give her some and she was asking him to call Mommy and ask if it was ok because she said they had soy in them! She gets it on some level!

She did have some wheat a couple of days ago. She inadvertently got some cheezits at a birthday party (who doesn't like Cheezits?) I had to take them away, and I think she was feeling bad about it. Poor thing...that's probably why she was so adamant with my husband that she couldn't eat the pretzels! :-) I know things like this are going to happen a lot, and while I'm not worried about the exposure (wheat is a super low allergen on her blood test), I do feel bad that she notices she can't have other kids' foods.

The birthday party was interesting as well...we had talked about making cupcakes for her to take to the party, but that morning I was short on time so I thought I'd surprise her and make these brownies from a mix that we had found at the store. When I told her about it on the way to the party, she was MAD at me! Oh man, I got an earful! So we stopped by the store on the way and got some ice cream - pink, of course - and that made up for it. The brownies were actually good so I ate them. :-) But that will teach me - cupcakes for parties from now on, check! She didn't want to be different. She also really wanted the juice the other kids were having, not her own...I think she is starting to protest the different-ness her allergies are creating.

Well, back to my vacation. One more week until our doctor's appointment and hopefully we will have some more answers!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Progress...

It has been a week since we got THE NEWS, and already I am feeling so much better. The biggest reason for this is Bethany is a COMPLETELY different child than she was last week! She was never a horrible child, there was just the continual stress of her not eating, not wanting to get dressed, wanting me to do everything for her, whining and whining and whining over EVERY little thing, etc. etc. We were just chalking it all up to her being 3 and turning into a moody person...now all of that is gone! Sure, I still have to keep her from picking on her little sister, or I still have to threaten time outs when she doesn't want to do something...but her overall demeanor is so much better; I can't even fully describe it.

Others have noticed it as well. Her school has commented on how happy she is, and our church nursery workers commented on how much more energetic & talkative she was. The other moms in the playgroup saw it firsthand, and told me they had thought maybe I was exaggerating but now they saw I wasn't!

The other good news is the Celiac testing is NEGATIVE! It was just the screening blood test, but knowing this is a big relief. In my internet browsing last night, however, I found one gal's blog who said multiple allergies still mean some sort of GI disorder. So I might dig around more to see if I can find anything on that (because you know bloggers know EVERYTHING, right??).

I feel like Bethany's eating has improved as well. So far we have only had success with quiona & corn noodles with butter (she won't try a mac & cheese sauce with them), but she is asking for more foods than she ever did before. Could she be realizing (even if subconsciously) that food doesn't hurt her anymore? Is she actually getting more hungry now that her body is healing? She wanted blueberries the other night for dinner, and she has refused to eat blueberries for ages. At lunch she wanted apple, pineapple & yogurt - foods I usually have to really push on her! She is also happy to eat, which I usually have to really coerce her to do. And the other thing that just seems bizarre to me - she wants milk ALL the time! We used to have to really push a few ounces of milk at bedtime, now she just wants a cup of it around all day to sip on. Weird, but good!

Other changes: she wants to play outside a lot now - we used to have to drag her out. She still likes watching TV but wants to bounce on the couch the whole time. She wants to dress herself, put her own shoes on, and do bathroom duties all on her own...she used to whine and whine for me to do them for her! She wants to hug and kiss and snuggle with everybody all day long. Dare I say I even see attempts to be nice to her little sister? :-)

The biggest struggle with her behavior now is she has so much energy it is hard to get her to come down a notch to do things I am asking her to do, but I won't complain about that! And I certainly am willing to do ANYTHING with her diet if it means I get to keep this little girl! I feel like I am falling in love with her all over again.

I'm still hunting for foods (other than snacks & cereal) that she will try. We over-did the bacon a bit at first so she's not really wanting that at the moment. I tried a new bread recipe but remembered AFTER I made it that the egg substitute the recipe called for was tofu - made with soy. DUH moment for Mommy! Two store brands have gotten thumbs down as well, and I don't blame her (at least she is trying them!). I can't wait for my bread maker so I can go crazy trying bread recipes. I am going to try a pumpkin loaf next, in the hopes that something more dessert-like will go over better.

I continue to be amazed at the wonderful support from all of my friends. They are sending us links to recipes to try and articles to read. I got a great bottle of wine from another friend - initially it was to help me deal with the stress but now I feel like it will be imbibed to celebrate! I'm still trying to hunt down whomever left those cookbooks for us. Our neighbors said they saw a guy taking them to the door, and was driving a white car...oh sure, that narrows it down! ;-)

I am having a last-minute trip this weekend to visit my brother. Wish my husband good luck in dealing with all of this on his own for two days. I figure, even if she just eats cereal for two days, it's all good! Mommy will enjoy her time off!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Life is Good!

Wow, after some extremely stressful and worrisome days, we are seeing the light and then some!

I have a completely, totally, 100% different child. She is not even close to the same child she was 5 days ago! She is sooo happy and easy going and listens well and doesn't throw tantrums and isn't whining nonstop, etc. etc. I will slave over a stove for 10 hours a day if it means I get to keep this child!! She has always preferred quiet activities - reading books, coloring, puzzles, etc. but lately I haven't been able to get her away from the TV or the computer. She still wants to watch tv, but she does it while bouncing on the couch nonstop! She sounds so much more her age - I was starting to wonder about her development even. She wasn't absorbing new information, or learning about the world around her much. Now I feel like she is a massive sponge. She is talking nonstop. She is happy almost all day. She is showering me with love constantly (hugs, snuggles, kisses, "I love you, Mommy!") -- one of our neighbor friends defined her previous personality as akin to "Sybil" and now she's back to the sweetest girl. I am on cloud 9!

And...dare I say it? I might not have the pickiest eater after all? Usually every meal but breakfast is a battle. Trying to get her to eat has been a daily stressor for 3 years now. Tonight she was happy to eat her entire meal without fuss, and she ate a TON. She even said she wanted to try blueberries, which she has refused to eat in ages. My jaw just about fell open. She is more agreeable to trying something that looks different. Dare I hope???

Monday, May 10, 2010

Learning Curve & Stress

Life in our house is usually pretty busy. Lately it's been crazy, because I'm spending so much time trying to learn as much as I can as quickly as I can, since this involves feeding my child!

This morning I poured over recipes - THANK YOU to whomever left those cookbooks on my doorstep for me! Fess up, who are you?? :-) I'm learning about all of the other grains out there: teff, quinoa, flax, sourghum, tapioca, potato starch versus flour, garbanzo bean flour, cracked brown rice, etc. etc. Who heard of these things? I'm learning about complete proteins, since that is the hardest thing to get Bethany to eat. She's not a huge milk drinker, and doesn't eat much meat. She recently swore off my super-yummy beans & rice recipe, which is a shame because it would be perfect. I'm learning about food groups: legumes, different types of grains, etc. etc. I'm learning about different types of yeast, vinegars & egg replacements (tofu, flax, vinegar, bananas). It is overwhelming, because I feel I need to know this NOW in order to get Bethany to eat something other than cereal! And I need to spend an hour in the store, which is extremely difficult with two kiddos.

And then there's the issue of cooking. It takes longer to cook mac & cheese from scratch than from a box. Most recipes with flours have separate recipes for the flour mixture - they all are different mixtures of flours to try to create the best flavor & texture for that recipe. So first you have to make a flour mixture, then the food from scratch. And then after all of this, your child refuses to taste it.

There is the stress of your child not eating.

And then there's the stress of grief. Your child isn't normal. Your child won't have a normal childhood as far as food goes - playgroup snacks, birthday parties, snacks at school...even being conscious of things like playdough! There is a grieving process to go through, an adjustment period. I went through it with the initial egg allergy, but that felt much more manageable than 10 allergies! I am lucky she understands that eggs make her sick, so I can tell her she can't have something because it will make her sick and she is ok with that.

And then you start to think about everything in your house, and I mean everything. What is canola, exactly? Is it related to the grains she is allergic to and could she be allergic to it as well? If she's allergic to legumes like peanuts, peas & soy, does that mean we have to avoid all beans & legume products? Or if those allergies are low do I not have to worry about them? I can't wait until the allergy appointment.

I can do this!